Tesla’s New Roadster: A Little More Loft

AI-generated hypothetical illustration: the new Roadster imagined over a golf course. Not an actual flight or demonstrated capability.

There are two things a golfer would like to keep in the air longer: a well-struck drive and the explanation for buying another expensive toy. Elon Musk’s new Tesla Roadster has just made that second conversation more interesting.

Tesla unveiled its next-generation Roadster on October 15, and the demonstration was not your ordinary lap around a parking lot. The car climbed a curved ramp, went upside down, launched into an airborne flip and landed. Another maneuver sent it over a line of Teslas. Somewhere, a golf-cart designer probably put down his sandwich.

Let’s keep one foot on the fairway: those were unmanned demonstrations, not proof that customers can cruise through the sky. CNN reported no demonstration of long-range flight. Think spectacular airborne gymnastics, not your new airport shuttle. The golf-course adventures that follow are strictly my imagination getting a little extra loft.

Still, what an imagination starter. Tesla describes rear cold-gas thrusters for its Thrust upgrade and claims zero to sixty in under a second. That is less time than it takes my playing partner to announce that his practice swing felt perfect. The engineering ambition deserves a raised eyebrow, preferably followed by a grin.

The styling has the same effect. Low, sharply creased and theatrical, this Roadster looks like it should arrive with its own entrance music. It is the sort of machine that makes you linger in the garage, even when you went out there to find your golf shoes.

Now imagine the practical applications. You’ve sent a ball into the weeds. Normally, you head in carrying a wedge and the misplaced confidence of a man who insists he saw exactly where it landed. In my fantasy, you summon the Roadster for an aerial reconnaissance mission. Finally, a search party with acceleration figures.

Of course, recovering one golf ball with a flying sports car would be gloriously disproportionate. That has never stopped golfers. We routinely buy sophisticated equipment to solve problems that a lesson and ten minutes of stretching might address. This would simply be the deluxe version, with a more interesting arrival.

I might be on board with electric cars if my production company weren’t called Gas and Gears. There is branding to consider. Gas and Batteries doesn’t quite sing, and Batteries and Mildly Alarming Acceleration is going to create problems on the business cards. My enthusiasm is willing; the stationery is holding firm.

That’s what I like about this Roadster: it invites car people to have fun with possibility. You don’t have to abandon everything you love about engines to appreciate somebody attempting something outrageous. A garage can accommodate more than one kind of excitement, even if the ceiling height suddenly becomes a discussion.

So, Elon, if you’re ever in the Los Angeles area and fancy a round, hit me up. We’ll talk cars, play some golf and leave the airborne ball recovery to our imaginations. Bring your clubs. I’ll bring extra balls. Between your engineering department and my driver, we should have plenty to discuss.